a wise friend of mine recently tried to pass on a pearl.

he said, "younger people think the mark of true friendship is unconditional approval. but older people know that true friendship is marked by someone who will call you on your shit."

still chewing on that. and thinking about the times in twothousandnine when i got called out over and over and over again. or wanted approval over and over and over again. i hated that year. can i be young and old?

thank goodness for turning corners, loyalty, humility, being alone but not lonely, and faking it until i made it.

lesley, is this too cryptic for you?

i'm totally geeking out.

on my awesome spread sheet which tracks the hours i need in order to be licensed. if my hours continue to go as planned (which they probably won't, let's be real.), i will have finished my three thousand hours by the end of february two thousand eleven.

i'll still have my invisalign at that point, but hopefully i'll be done with these suckers at the same time i pass my test. licensed with straight teeth, imagine that.

i'm trying something new.

it's seen as leaving my room messy, not responding to emails, waiting weeks to do my laundry and ignoring phone calls.

because sometimes i just need to be present for things like soup by kimberly and telling dan g. the discussion he's moderating is making me puke in my mouth. and praying for the boy who will never know his dad and having a good long cry about it afterward. and turning off the music and rolling down the window as i travel on the eighty in the bay area sunshine, allowing my hair to get dirtier faster than i wanted. and typing on my typewriter and writing interrupting emails to anna.

it's sort of fun.

lessons learned from this week of life lived.

wear your helmet. when you're riding whatever you're riding. playing the guessing game of "where's my roommate" and calling emergency departments never makes for a pleasant thursday evening.

emotionally disturbed or not, eight year olds have a strange concept of time. the younger they are, the harder it is to close the case.

the worst kind of sick is when you're not sick enough to stay home from work.

youth speaks still reigns as one of the most inspiring city events which i attend annually.

leaving is harder when you want to leave; especially when you didn't anticipate the sadness.

zicam cough syrup, advertised as "almost tasteless," should have bolded, italicized and underlined the word ALMOST.

my toothpaste consumption.

is about to go WAY up. invisalign makes you brush your teeth after EVERY TIME you eat something. EVERY TIME.

just say no to grinding teeth and tmj.

sa sa sa census.

it's no secret that i love to participate in our civic duties. well today i did a little dance when the mail came: my census form arrived! seriously, i danced.

i can't wait to fill it out and be counted. to be part of something in this country that can help with federal funding. and really, to feel a little bit more connected to the three hundred and seven million citizens of the united states.

did you know participation is mandatory? fill it out, yo!

in the name of flipper.

kristy was down for the weekend and we spent time laughing and eating and testing and walking and driving and thinking about dolphins. what? yes, we watched the oscar winner for best documentary, the cove. it was fascinating and totally worth our time. rent it.

i don't even like donuts.

but dynamo is conveniently located two blocks from my office and it's hard to restrain myself. everything is so fresh and perfectly baked; i'm pretty convinced they don't even fry the things because i don't get a stomach ache after enjoying one. they even have a small secret menu which consists of one item: focaccia bread... mmmmm! it's so good. but my favorite is the spiced chocolate donut. delicious.

everyone, get yourself to dynamo! and for those of you who enjoy coffee- they serve four barrel.

and, i'm back.

short and sweet.
laughter and sleeping.
whale searching and muddy hiking.
eating and snacking.
pancake breakfasts and dinners at five.
car washes three times a week and driving a truck.
commy this and commy that.
movies and oscars.
ipo and koa.
sunning and wind running.
mousse fiasco and checking bags.
lalalalala and sniffles.

the whirlwind hawaiian vacay is over and i was greeted at work by a rat the size of my forearm. i thought to myself, oh how i'd love to be with the chickens on kauai with julie and the youngest grandparents in the world.

we interrupt this broadcast for a well needed vacation. (one of three)

i'm off to kauai with jya to soak up the sun, participate in aquasize led by my grandpa, and drink a blended beverage with an umbrella perched on top. maybe even hike the napali coast and swim with turtles. definitely trek around the island like we own the place.

see you soon, real soon.

hoping.

i hope that in twenty years i'm not numb. that when a child is removed from a foster home, i remember this day and cry like i am right now. that when i think of the foster care system, i still get angry and wonder if a family would make the same decision for their own biological kids.

i hope i remember that love isn't enough without stability. and i hope i'm not jaded. i hope i can feel the heat in my ears when we told him he can no longer live with this family. i hope i still have trouble sleeping when i think of my clients as they grow up with out family and diagnoses like ptsd, adhd, depression, anxiety, major explosive disorder, or all of the above.

i hope the injustices in this world and on these children still make me vomit. and i hope i never quit bawling my eyes out when it's time for them to go.

rotm: february.

february's roommate of the month award winner went out to dillon-i've-got-low-expectations-but-i'm-putting-myself-out-there-moffatt. he wins this award after consistent follow through on all things friend related, sharing the best ten minute video ever and spending quality time thinking about how the mouse got in the house. yes, you read that correctly: we have a mouse.

looks like this girl has to step it up if she ever wants to earn a vote.

(note the jealous roommate in the background picture)