i need new struts. and i'm rich.

the above statements are FALSE FALSE FALSE.

i no longer need new struts (or a head gasket, timing belt, new alignment, etc) because i'm driving with blue tooth baby. my poor old car needed six thousand dollars in repairs (WHAAAAAAAT?) so i said goodbye. we broke up. parted ways, if you will. it was a sad moment as i thought of the good memories... first in santa barbara, all the road trips, boys kissed, letting anna sneak it off to coffee, way too many tickets, hitting a hundred k, late night conversations, the first clove smoked inside (two weeks ago), radio moments with npr, driving in snow, all of it. dear God i would have married those heat seaters.... and so i said goodbye. to a luxury car without a luxury paycheck.

never doing that again.

ps. happy twentyfifth to the hottest citizen of seattle that's staying past august: kp.

a fantastic graduation gift.

feeling totally known.


received this from the best gift giver.

sat in bed this morning and read page after page.

everyone should know about foster's market.

understanding dementia behavior, part ten.

tenth tip from fca: maintain your sense of humor. use humor whenever possible, though not at the person's expense. people with dementia tend to retain their social skills and are usually delighted to laugh along with you.

my addition to this tip: ohmygod. i would hate my life if my patients didn't laugh with me (or at me). seriously. once rapport is built, humor and laughter are an added bonus.

the majority of the above information is from one of my favorite sources: family caregiver alliance, www.caregiver.org

read my disclaimer here.

before i stuck a screwdriver in my finger.

i looked this happy:

(jay and me)

my left index finger + a mini screwdriver.

my roommate got a new watch and he was taking some links out of it. and i wanted a turn...

"i can do it, i've done it before. let me try!"

"okay. but be careful. don't impale yourself."

the next thing i know i'm saying, "there's a screwdriver in my finger. it hurts really bad. i need a paper towel. there's blood. someone get james. james hurry this isn't a joke. hurrrrrrrrrrrry! i've impaled myself!"

and off we went to the er because (despite what my family thinks) i was not about to pull that thing out myself. or let anyone else do it.

congratulations on your masters degree.

now get your ass to the emergency room. any guesses for why we're here? notice my roommate standing behind me with his visitor sticky on; more importantly, notice that pretty little watch on his wrist. it's new.

photo details to reveal why later. BEWARE: you might wince or vurp or say OHMYGODHOWDIDTHATHAPPEN?

my degree just became a little more real.

i picked up my hood today. it has colors on it, light blue for my degree and green and yellow for usf. talk about a bad color combo. but i get to keep it! forever and ever.

what the hell am i going to do with a gown and hood? talk about taking up valuable space in my already teeny tiny closet.

tomorrow i celebrate.

the black cloud has left san diego.

and arrived back in san francisco. I AM THE BLACK CLOUD. for the first time "in a really long time," my brother carter and russell didn't catch anything. apparently the sharks were biting YESTERDAY but TODAY they decided they weren't hungry. then we did some regular fishing and NOTHING. NOT ONE BITE. live bait, dead bait, THERE WERE NO FISH IN THE OCEAN. of course, just my luck... i flew down TO GO FISHING.

captain russell and me being sad (he needs to work on his pouty face):

gone sharking.

see that shark? three hundred and eighty six pounds. caught last week. i'm off to visit the oldest brother and wife (and new puppy) to go sharking. this is an eight year dream in the making.

attention attention, california voters.

tomorrow is a special election in california. you officially have less than twentyfour hours to figure out how you will vote on props a through f.

get to your polling place and make it happen.

b2b, year three.

whelp. it was my third bay to breakers and it doesn't seem to change. nakeys everywhere, incredible costumes and a drunken debauchery. becks and the shan dressed up and i laid low.

twentyseven candles.

"it was a shit show. EASY." we celebrated dillon's birthday with annie's homemade lasagna all the way from ohio and the best chocolate mousse cake you've ever had and chad's stellar salad and the rose's bomb garlic bread. and then we dance dance danced (AGAIN).


thank God i haven't lost my party planning capabilities.

"oh! today must be bay to breakers?"

give me a dollar for every time we heard that while participating in the great urban race and i'd have twenty seven bucks, for dillon's twenty seventh birthday, of course. (people were saying that because we were wearing TUTUS, duh.)

the tutu brigade got second place overall. LIES. we probably got fifty second place or something. julie, dan, dillon and i took three and a half hours to finish the course using our handy dandy iphones and phone-a-friend capabilities. thanks to james, julie, carter and courtney for helping us figure out some of the answers; certainly couldn't have been done with out you.

even though it was SO HOT in the city, the gur was totally worth it. we might have got sun poisoning but whatever, it was incredible. just kidding grandma, i was definitely wearing sunscreen.

dan and dillon:


julie and me:

the birthday eve extravaganza.

i think this photo is a window into friday night.

first we ate at umami (incredible sushi in cow hollow), then we hit up madrone. and the rest of the evening went something like this:

dance.
dance.
dance.
pomegranate cider.
dance.
sex machine was there.
dance.
dance.
the (not brick) wall.
outside.
"you can do whatever you want" x2.
inside.
dance.
dance.
dance.
"hike up your skirt a little more"
dave matthews is here?
outside.
"you're a good kisser" x2.
inside.
they're green!
let me get rid of one.
goodbye.
let's go.
gone missing.
for an hour.
walk. walk. walk.
four dollar and sixty five cent cab ride.
bobby pin.
drive home.
"hello house!"
"we left you voicemails!"
"kyle, i'm coming in."
EASY.
"don't worry i won't look.
i need to tell you some things."
things.
things.
things.
"i've still got it!
i AM NOT A MOTHER.
or YOUR MOTHER.
guys don't want a mother!"
EASY.
three am.
goodnight.

you know you're turning into a nerd when...

...you get SO FREAKING EXCITED over your supervisor doing a neuropsych evaluation with a REAL patient in front of you. duuuuuude, seriously. the best way to learn. totally made my whole day.

also, important to note: you can get a free coldplay cd right here.

AND becks and the shan are in town for the whole weekend. plus it's my roommate's birthday. activity after activity after ... i am going to be so tired. but it will be so worth it.

TOMORROW IS THE GREAT URBAN RACE! here comes the tutu brigade.

vip's at the zoo.

today i got to spend time with one of the most creative and unique women who is changing the world, also known as diana. it's been her dream to go to the zoo so that's what we did. specifically, she wanted to go with me to the zoo because i know people. and my people hook it up (hi jenn!). so here we are...

diana feeding the rhino:

diana petting pippin, the penguin:

me petting pippin:

we fed hercules some grapes:

understanding dementia behavior, part nine.

ninth tip from fca: remember the good old days. remembering the past is often a soothing and affirming activity. many people with dementia may not remember what happened forty five minutes ago, but they can clearly recall their lives forty five years earlier. therefore, avoid asking questions that rely on short-term memory, such as asking the person what they had for lunch. instead, try asking general questions about the person's distant past- this information is more likely to be retained.

my addition to this tip: my clients would so much rather tell me about their childhood and young adult life than talk about what's happening for them now. it's astonishing to see the drastic differences in their memory from what happened yesterday to what happened sixty years ago. be patient and go with the stories, it's worth it.

the majority of the above information is from one of my favorite sources: family caregiver alliance, www.caregiver.org

read my disclaimer here.

his answer was yes.

thoughts from my life, sexless in the city:

"am i the most stylish girl you've almost kissed?" i asked sarcastically, standing there in a dress and heels with my favorite gray trench all tied up. my oversized sunglasses were covering a third of my face.

as the words came out of my mouth i had this moment. half regret for saying such a silly thing and half serious. i took a deep breath and thought about how we really could have been good together, it was just the wrong timing. and some other things, too, i'm sure. but we both really are abnormal, but better a part. that was a good period of time we had, back in the fall. and it felt good for you to buy my french fries today and for you to share your secrets with me. and me with you.

but in the end, i am glad you didn't kiss me. that you didn't cross that boundary and that you knew better. that you know yourself and that you knew me. even when you tried to analyze me and when you asked me overly personal questions, i totally appreciate you. and all your quirkiness. and your depth. and artsiness, of course.

so i guess it's 'good bye' tomorrow. instead i'll probably say something like 'see you soon' because that's what i'm hoping for. you really are a good guy.

sandwiched by jessicas.

two fridays ago i got to dance with two of the beauties of room three thirty one. damn, i miss page three c.

tacky eighties prom.

my friend meg (also known as gem renrag) and katie and stephan celebrated their birthdays in style. i think the photos do enough explaining.

katie & matt:
nathan and meg getting excited about something:
julie (with teased out hair, obvi) and nathan:
maggie, julie, me, julie, mary flynn, sarah, katie, claudia:

no one ACTUALLY cares.

but this is just a mental note (or blog note) for me. i want to remember this moment.... i just finished my last paper for my master's program. what stands between me and the m period a period? psychopharmacology and late age counseling this summer (and neither will have papers, just tests). it will soon be time to safely pass go and collect two hundred dollars without going to jail.

laura suggests i have people call me master katz. just like we call people with their doctorates doctor. i declined.

the anecdote.

to depression is activity. to anxiety is balance.

ps. i am referring to symptoms of depression and anxiety, NOT a major depressive episode or general anxiety disorder.

thankful for my ears.

today i will have what some refer to as an out of body experience. i will see and hear sam beam live for the second time in my life and i will most likely cry. i will be so filled with joy and i will get the chills and i will close my eyes and thank God for my life, and my ears. and then i'll smile with one of my best friends sitting next to me. she'll look over at me, just like she did last time, and she'll be shocked with my awe, just like she was last time. "i can't control it julie. i just can't. no one makes me feel like this music does. nothing."

if there's ever a human being that could put words to my feelings, it is sam beam. what an incredible and talented creator and artist.

friends with jesuits, sort of rhymes with friends with benefits.

working in university ministry at usf automatically means you get to be friends with jesuits. it's like a free pass to being closer to God. okay, maybe not. but seriously, my time at usf has taught me a lot more about catholicism and specifically about how RAD jesuits are. even though i like to give father donal and [almost] father bob crap for not letting me take communion with them, they sure did teach me something about the character of Jesus. love it.

shitty side note: another fire in santa barbara brings possible heartache for some of my dear friends. this totally sucks.

help needed: we're looking for costume ideas for the great urban race competition. we have access to tu tus. and sean recommended team zissou. original plan was family double dare. your ideas are welcome.

my parents were such hippies.

in nineteen eightyfour! i just discovered the song i was named after, "emmie" by laura nyro.

the [very interesting] lyrics:
Emily and her love to be, carved in a heart on a berry tree.
But it's only a little farewell love spell, time to design a woman.
Touch me, oh wake me, Emily you ornament the earth for me.
Emily, you're the natural snow, the unstudied sea, you're a cameo.
And I swear you were born a weavers lover, born for the loom's desire.
Move me, oh sway me. Emily, the ornament, the earth for me.
Emmie, your Momma’s been calling you.
Who stole Mama’s heart and cuddled in her garden?
Darling Emmie, la, la, la, oo la, la la.
You're my friend and I loved you, Emily, Emily, Emily, Emily.
She got the way to move me, Emmie. She got the way to move me, yeah.
She got the way to move me, Emmie. She got the way to move me, get up and move me...

the alzheimer's project.

hbo created a documentary called the alzheimer's project. it airs may tenth and should be great. they seem pretty hopeful in the trailer, which is good and great, but i'd say to take their hope with a grain of salt (i'm negative nancy, i know). overall, i imagine this project will be super beneficial for all of us.

understanding dementia behavior, part eight.

eighth tip from fca: respond with affection and reassurance. people with dementia often feel confused, anxious and unsure of themselves. further, they often get reality confused and may recall things that never really occurred. avoid trying to convince them they are wrong. stay focused on the feelings they are demonstrating (which are real) and respond with verbal and physical expressions of comfort, support and reassurance. sometimes holding hands, touching, hugging and praise will get the person to respond when all else fails.

my addition to this tip: funny how this just happened to me this week. my client was telling me all about X and the whole session was about working on how she would approach her caregiver to tell them not to do X anymore. i talked to the caregiver the next day and it turns out X never occurred. awesome. this client is also the one who recently asked me to help her find her mind. yep, totally got teary eyed in that conversation. anyway, this type of confusion usually happens during the middle stages of dementia.

the majority of the above information is from one of my favorite sources: family caregiver alliance, www.caregiver.org

read my disclaimer here.