understanding dementia behavior, part four.

fourth tip from fca: ask simple, answerable questions. ask one question at a time; those with yes or no answers work best. refrain from asking open-ended questions or giving too many choices. for example, ask, "would you like to wear your white or blue shirt?" better yet, show him the choices- visual prompts and cues also help clarify your question and can guide his response.

my addition to this tip: when doing the above it's helpful to think "they might not remember all of my options" -- that will certainly help you to limit yourself in case you're a choice giver. choices are good. they're great. everyone LOVES choices, minus people with dementia. well, okay, i take that back. but you know what i mean. just stick to yes or no.

the majority of the above information is from one of my favorite sources: family caregiver alliance, www.caregiver.org

read my disclaimer here.

feeling filled up.

this weekend was exactly what i needed. catching up and being around the girls who've watched me change and grow since seventh grade is really fascinating. so many moments i thought about how collectively successful we are... two physical therapists, an engineer and a therapist... we all left visalia and didn't look back. we've experienced so much, alone and together. i love those girls. there is so much history.

photos to come.

side note: do not taxi from orange to huntington. ever. expensivo!

hipsters versus hip.

i offended two people this week when i was asked to describe their style. i called them hipsters. one of them has the sides of her head shaved and wears skinny jeans and screams cool while the other wears purple v-necks and rides a fixed gear bike. so i did some hipster research and i stand corrected. apparently the people i've offended are just cool. or, hip. but dear god, they are NOT hipsters (they practically cut me up with a steak knife and ate me in bite sized pieces perfect for a four year old).

here is an official definition, brought to you by urban dictionary.

understanding dementia behavior, part three.

third tip from fca: state your message clearly. use simple words and sentences. speak slowly, distinctly and in a reassuring tone. refrain from raising your voice higher or louder; instead, pitch your voice lower. if she doesn't understand the first time, use the same wording to repeat your message or question. if she still doesn't understand, wait a few minutes and rephrae the question. use the names of people and places instead of pronouns and abbreviations.

my addition to this tip: remember that they're adults, not children. it might feel like you need to talk to them the way some people do when speaking to someone who doesn't speak english (like getting louder helps someone understand better). relax. it can be totally frustrating to communicate with someone who has dementia. a lot of this work is trying to separate the way you used to communicate with them with how you need to communicate with them.

the majority of the above information is from one of my favorite sources: family caregiver alliance, www.caregiver.org

read my disclaimer here.

three nights ago.

in preparation for easter in yosemite 2009, one of the roommates purchased a new sleeping bag, which was cause for celebration in itself. what you are viewing below is a sleepover in our living room. apparently we don't sleep close enough to each other already.

if you're asking yourself, "is dan wearing a head lamp and using an electric toothbrush at the same time?" the answer is yes.

we interrupt this broadcast for some GOOD news.

the internal conversation in my head: i got a job. WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?!? yep, it's true. i will be a paid employee while accruing hours come june twentysecond. get out. are you for real? yep, for real for real.

in the mean time, i am totally looking forward to:

• the great urban race. team family double dare plans on winning.
• all things other people's weddings. ie: julie and laura.
• figuring out who my plus one will be to julie and nathan's wedding. and of course, joining in on the LGN project just for kicks.
• switching insurance carriers AGAIN. but for good reason. you see, i'm getting renter's insurance and my car insurance is cheaper if i ditch out on the lizard that i once raved about. plus, it's more amusing when your insurance friend says, "don't worry about hurting the lizard's feelings as he has thick skin."
• having a best friend reunion THIS weekend, which will include things like, but not limited to: eating, sleeping in the same bed, roller blading or bike riding to the beach, laying on the sand at the beach, riding every roller coaster at disneyland, eating, dancing, not being able to keep up with the beverage count, dancing with israeli boyfriends, taking ridiculous pictures and hearing things like, "guys, i can't find my fill in the blank" or "oooh! i don't have that color of hanky pankies!" or "don't leave me. you better not leave me!"
• easter in yosemite 2009.

how would you rate your ability to have fun...

"...poor, fair, good or excellent?"

pause.

"what do you mean 'fun'? because i like beer and sex. can you provide me with either of those?"

and then my face got really really hot.

"nope. definitely not." exhale. "awkward."

pause again. [he's demented; it was at least a fifteen second pause]

"well then i guess i would say poor. definitely poor."

"alright. i think we'll pick up here next time."

must i remind you that my clients, including this one, ARE OVER SEVENTY YEARS OLD. awesome.

sixtythree hours in chicago.

amazing food, a sweet hotel, an architectural boat ride, three museums (THE CHICAGO ART INSTITUTE WAS INCREDIBLE), sears tower, the oprah show, shopping, navy pier, and a cool theater performance.

so fun to go jet setting with my hilarious mother.
(who made us take this photo)

o is for oprah.

i've previously thought about the life of a talk show host. how hard it would be to be "on" all the time when in front of a camera. for some reason that translated to being "on" all the time in life. and WOW did she prove me wrong. she was her great and happy self when the camera was rolling, exactly how we see her on tv. but when the cameras were off... well, not so exciting. not so friendly. not so happy. BUT THAT DIDN'T RAIN ON MY PARADE. kelly clarkson was adorable, ali wentworth was hilarious and jenny mccarthy was just down right honest (fake boobs, botox, life with jim carey, etc.)

the only other surprise besides oprah's boring-ness... not walking away with kelly clarkson's new cd. what's up with that?

what to wear?

i leave tonight for chicago and apparently kelly clarkson will be entertaining me. something about oprah fridays live with kelly clarkson and jenny mccarthy. WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? no favorites show?! damn. oh well, beggars can't be choosers.