i need my memory back.

you sit there with your tongue sticking out at me. you scream "i win- i win and you lose" and i think to myself- you are so right. you have won. you've done things to make me sad and i've lost another friend. but it's mostly my fault; i didn't bring things into the light. i wasn't nice. i pretended like you weren't lonely. you were. i didn't encourage you. i didn't pray for you. only me. i'm so selfish. but really, i never wanted you as my friend, until you didn't return my calls and you were too busy for me. but you bothered me. why? i'm not so sure. but what i am sure of is how i am jealous of you. but when i am jealous, it is because i forget about what i have and who i am. . . i am the beloved. . . i am His favorite. but you still win, because in the end, i have forgotten.


psalm 69.