i got there this morning and unexpectedly cried.

ever since my marathon, i've decided that if i'm able, i'd like to support- by running alongside for some of the miles- as many of my friends who are running in races. shelby ran the nike women's half marathon this morning and as i rolled out of bed and showed up on the course, that silly little clementine showed up in my throat and tears started to fall from my eyes. i'm trying to work out in this post what was going on for me: maybe it's because it's been ten weeks since i ran the san francisco marathon and i was overwhelmed by the over twentytwo thousand runners coming toward me- the ones who had put in extensive hours training for the day that had finally arrived? maybe because i knew the training these people put in? maybe because this race was benefiting team in training and i saw so many "honorees" running by (runners who have or have had cancer)? maybe because i thought of how meaningful it was for me when nineteen of you showed up on the course? or maybe, just maybe, it's because the last seven months of pain and joy replayed in my mind and the process of training and running a marathon as a redemptive process was more present than ever before?

i started to fight the tears as i waited for shelby and then i just let go. my eyes filled up and i stood there completely overwhelmed by the runners and my own experience.

marathon running is a spiritual experience that moves me beyond my control. i can't wait to go back.