fourhundred twenty dollars and sixty cents.

that's the amount i have left to raise to finish my goal for the marathon. the money goes to the leukemia and lymphoma society and i'm anxious to be finished so i can focus primarily on the running. this weekend i'll run the farthest i've ever run-- thirteen point two miles! holllllllller! anything you can do to help would be appreciated. click here.

other things to note: the cdc allowed my flu shot needle to be the smallest they've ever used. thank God.

UPDATE: twohundred ninetyfive dollars and sixty cents to go!

my birthday was last wednesday.

threehundred and sixtyfour days prior to my birthday, all i wanted was to be twentysix. i am so happy to be here now-- it means a lot, but it's mostly just symbolic of not being right in the middle, in the middle of a pile of shit.

there are a few reasons why twentyfive was awful, maybe even the worst year in my life: i was tired last year... growth and grieving and tears were overall good for me, but my exhaustion was high and my strength was low. i wanted so badly for things to go my way, to be in control, to be loved the way i needed. but instead i ended up with many long conversations that concluded with a "it's-gonna-be-alright-one-day-but-not-today" hug, promises made to myself which i consistently broke, and me facing rejection on a daily basis.

and on my twentysixth birthday, when i read the following words from my friend julie l.... "dear emily, i hope for a day of simple pleasures, that make you feel loved and celebrated. i hope for a year full of times to pursue old hobbies and opportunities for new adventures, for relationships that bring joy and a deeper sense of what you know and love."....i felt redeemed. because i received just that-- simple pleasures that helped me feel loved and celebrated: dynamo donuts, fresh flowers, a low tannin wine, pulled pork and hard cider, a cake catastrophe that was delicious, and people i know and care about sitting together on the same grass while breaking bread. it was perfect (minus the part where they sing happy birthday and everyone looks at me). it's like the moments we celebrated my birthday made up for the entire last year.

and so here i am, five days into being twentysix, learning more about letting it go (or l.i.g. as we referred to it in greece), getting closer to the escape, striving to surround myself with those who love me while allowing me to care deeply for them, and turning toward a good God who reminds me of the importance of community. and i'm grateful, more so than i've felt in a long time: fresh starts feel so good.

even years are always better than odd, always.

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. twentysix of twentysix.

closin' it out with a bang: the age difference between the youngest guy and the oldest guy i've been on a date with is twentytwo years.

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. twentyfive of twentysix.

i drink a can of diet coke five out of seven days a week, at least. if i had my preference, it would be fountain, can and then bottle. (i've still never had a cup of black coffee, though.)

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. twentyfour of twentysix.

i'm a sucker for documentaries. dolphins, school shootings, whatever it is... i want to see it every time.

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. twentythree of twentysix.

i despise "reply all"...there are very few good moments when it is utilized appropriately.

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. twentytwo of twentysix.

dogs

dogs

dogs.

love 'em... big ones, small ones, and everyone in between.

jeep was the family dog and ziggy was the dog walking dog. but, oh what i would give for a bernese mountain dog.

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. twentyone of twentysix.

emily post and her manners/etiquette are really important to me. whether it's writing a thank you card within a week or signing an email with your name, despite the signature line. i heart the etiquette queen.

(this can be attributed to: my high school career with deca, stephen covey and my mother.)

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. twenty of twentysix.

i take friendship really seriously. (emphasis on really.)

in the last almost-twentysix years i've learned the importance of return-on-investment friendships; giving and giving and being cared for in return. it's meant surrounding myself with those who are positive influences on me; the ones who teach me and show me how to grow and learn, how to actually be a better person. there's been some profound, grief-filled months along the way, but my reality is that i consciously choose to surround myself with those who love me and want what's best for me. and everything else really has to be let go, and that is okay.

(the combination of my courage and friendship crushes has delivered on some of my most favorite relationships in the world. i highly recommend owning and acting on your fc's!)

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. nineteen of twentysix.

i am not, i repeat: not, a good (in-person) story teller.

it's not self deprecating, it's just something i know about myself. and i'm totally okay with it.

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. eighteen of twentysix.

ira glass' voice is soothing; i start every monday morning off with the latest this american life.

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. seventeen of twentysix.

i would love to adopt one day, married or not. [better start saving...]

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. sixteen of twentysix.

in may i took a class at stanford on forgiveness and the definition alone changed my perspective on life.

the definition? making peace with the word "no."

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. fifteen of twentysix.

for me, joy and pride truly meet when i participate in my civic duties.

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. fourteen of twentysix.

i am crafty but not artsy.

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. thirteen of twentysix.

i think trying to evangelize jews is wrong.

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. twelve of twentysix.

i despise non-specific questions. examples: what's new? what's going on? how are you?

[maybe this is because i'm a self-proclaimed expert question asker.]

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. eleven of twentysix.

there's a few people in the world who still call me 'katz.' unless you've been given permission, the fact is: i strongly dislike being referred to by my last name.

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. ten of twentysix.

sometimes i think i'm allergic to people needing me.

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. nine of twentysix.

i would rather be alone than in a relationship because of loneliness.

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. eight of twentysix.

if you ask me for money, i'll generally give it, even if i don't have it. [not the best habit i've ever formed.]

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. seven of twentysix.

chartreuse is my favorite color. and then orange.

random facts learned in a quarter century plus one. six of twentysix.

i don't like music festivals. i've only been to one, though. apparently sensory overload and impatience get the best of me.