spoken like a true deflector.

my dear friend abbey and i were on the phone today. she kept asking me hard questions and i kept changing the subject. at first i was doing it because i didn't know the answers to her questions and then i was doing it because i knew the answers and i was utterly embarrassed to actually say them out loud. the topic of the questions and answers is neither here nor there, but i stopped us in the middle of the conversation.

me: i am the ultimate deflector. i don't ever want to talk about me and go into details and i constantly want to change the subject. and you know what? you do the exact same thing. it's because we're like meredith and christina. we are crazy. and out of control.

abbey: ya, so, what's your point?

me: let's try something new. what if everytime we wanted to change the subject we had to say, "i'm changing the subject now." just so we can be consciously aware of how much we do this.

abbey: done. this is going to be hilarious as one third of our words to each other will now be the exact same sentence.

and so we tried it for the rest of the conversation. bringing light to the fact that we get uncomfortable and we try to run and avoid and run some more. this is true cognitive behavioral therapy at work, people. it's all about the baby steps.