goodbye, 2011.

at the beginning of this year i wrote here that this would be "my year."

looking back, i'm not quite sure what i meant by that, or even what my expectations were. i think because twentyseven is my favorite number i hoped this year would offer something completely spectacular... that everything would be good all the time. wrong.

turns out twothousand eleven offered the highest highs and lowest lows and that made for an interesting year. i experienced new joys and sorrows which expanded my view and capacity to understand myself and those around me. i am grateful for this year, as difficult as it's been to move forward, though.

looking back... this year i took a trip to pasadena, asher joined our family, i took some trips to sugar bowl, i celebrated lauren's birthday in yountville, i got a promotion, wine night started, my best friend got engaged, john from martin's died, i traveled to santa barbara for becky's bachelorette, i finished my session with braces, becky got married, my romantic relational shit hit the fan, i joined a running club, i read a lot of poetry, i found a new therapist, i started working at a restaurant, i went to tahoe for wimberly's bachelorette, i made some pies, i ran another marathon, i walked beside a friend who was misdiagnosed, i went to the engstrom's in santa cruz, i went on a cruise with my family in alaska, my dad got sick, my mft hours got approved, i went back to santa barbara, kyle and i had a birthday party, kiah and anna got mason and some of us threw a little party, i had an incredible birthday week, leanne and dave got hitched, i went to boston and chicago, and my family came to town for christmas. it was a really good year.

what i'm most proud of, though, is the work i've been doing on my own, for myself: connecting the dots of my story and understanding the impacts of my decisions. i'm learning how to take care of myself better and ask for what i need, which i may have learned the hard way, but i'm glad it's a process that's part of my life right now. i'm hopeful that i'll continue to find my voice, listen to myself and increase my courage along the way.

goodbye twothousand eleven, it was another bittersweet year.