"you must take it; you are the collector."

i watched everything is illuminated. this film received an award tonight... it made my top ten list! (i don't know what's in my top ten, other than good will hunting, crash, seven, amelie, pay it forward, and.... uh, are there even ten?) anyway, it was beautiful. brilliant. thoughtful. i must remember that "the ring is not here because of us, but we are here because of the ring." and of course, "it is always along the side of us. on the inside looking out. like you say, inside out."

quote: "yesterday i bought rain boots and today it rained... it doesn't get any better than that!" later... i asked her, "you walked all the way home? from 6th and mission? up those hills!" she responded, "i had to step in all the puddles before they went away!" i have a lot to learn from you. thank you.

rusty reminded me that she never knew what she wanted, she just took each opportunity as it came. she says, "you can always quit- nothing is permanent."

earlier as i made my list of almost 99 things to do, i felt so content. when a new relationship (friendship, romantic, professional, etc) enters in my life, something else is removed. over the last eight months, it is possible that the something that might have been removed has been myself (for the most part). i sway and like the things you like, forgetting who i am and what i like. thus, making decisions that i wouldn't normally make, based on the idea of the relationship. i know how to give and give and i know not how to receive. someone, teach me how to receive. so, when the feeling of contentment came over me, i sipped the cold drink, swallowed, and exhaled. i stopped holding my breath, and felt like i was making progress. a while ago, i thought that i would do something with this "day off" that i received. when i woke up today and decided that i wasn't going to "do something" like i originally planned (take a hike, drive on hwy 1, etc), i was bummed as i made my list of errands. then, as i sat there, i realized that this is what this day was for... to realign myself, to exhale... to wash my sheets.