yep, it's friday at 8:21.

disclaimer: no questions, phone calls, emails or comments about this post. okay? good.

rejection always hurts. it doesn't matter what form it comes in, it just hurts. for me, it burns a little bit and puts a clementine sized lump in my throat. it makes me want to take a walk and eat by myself while listening to sappy songs on my ipod. it also makes me miss my bus stop. it even keeps me home on a friday night.

let's talk about age for a second. who determined what "25" or "49" looks like? who determined what it means? i hate that person. whoever made this decision, i hope you're reading because i hate you. you make things difficult for me in the work place, romantically, and in general. carissa says age doesn't matter in anything, but society disagrees with her. i want to agree with you, cj, but i have too much of myself in society. i wish i was stronger like you.

i am learning a few different things right now. here's a summary:
1. if someone makes me feel beautiful, i lose sight of what i see as ugly. 2. if i have to keep it a secret, it's probably not a good idea. 3. i am a big follower when it comes to romance. almost chameleon like; not good. in february i was curious about birds and was a hopeless romantic, in june i was crazy about sudoku. truth is i hate pigeons and romantic gestures don't do that much for me. oh yeah, and sudoku is alright.

who am i? where am i going? what am i doing here?
perhaps the reason so many people don't know me is
because i don't even know me.