bonnie raitt and a stupidspacebar

To be honest, I have no idea if anyone is readingthis. I just downloaded Bonnie Raitt's "I can't make you love me" and I think I will spend that $20 Barnes & Noble card onher greatest hits cd. Jonny Rea tells me buying Greatest Hits albums is lame, I agree with him, but I can't afford all of her cds. Myspace bar sucks, by the way. I took itinto the applestore toget it fixed and it actuallyturned out worse. Brilliant.

"Processing" mysemester in Florence isn't going to be some sit down-thinkabout it-journal 30 pages type thing. Stop laughing at me because I thought this. I already feel dumb for thinking this. It will just happen, let it go Emily. Let's write about December22: probablymy worst day of 2005. I survived my first anxiety attack, heard some awful news, and crashed my mom's car. Yes, all in one day. My mom has been suffering from horrible back pain and Kaiser called saying the spine clinic could get her in, so I drove her. Sitting in the doctor's office and hearing what he had to say caused my anxiety attack...I was dizzy, sweating profusely, extremely thirsty and it was beginning to be hard to breath. What the doctor said: my mom has a cyst on her spine along with 2 crushed discs. On our way home, it was raining and I managed to rear end the BMW in front of me, damaging only my mom's car. Yeah, it was a fantastic day. But it ended well, as I traveled to Modesto to visit Chase and Lisa Armour. A long awaited visit was well worth it. Hey I think I fixed my space bar!!!

Music worth listening to:
1. Ben Taylor's new CD "Another Run Around the Sun"
2. Nick Drake's CD "Pink Moon"

The most commonly asked question: What do you miss most about Florence?
My common, overly stated, time to come up with a new answer, answer (but it's true!): The history. No, I didn't study the history while I was there but being able to walk around a city that has been around for hundreds of years was a privilege. And, I miss the extremely fresh food. Don't you wonder why the bread lasts more than a week here? That's not normal. Preservatives.

I rewatched the Interpreter on Christmas. (Who does that?) Because I wasn't in the movie theater, I had a chance to pause, grab a pen and write down some key lines that I think should be repeated and repeated through out history: "Vengeance is a lazy form of grief." and "Words and compassion are the only way, even if it’s slower than a gun." Thanks Nicole Kidman for those wise words of truth.

Cole Ambler got married on New Year's Eve, which brought me out to Colorado. It wasn't cold in Colorado. Weird. I wanted it to be cold. The wedding was fun. Wow, what an adjective. Umm, good food, good friends, and a reunion of the Urban House from 2 years ago. I'm glad I went.

TV worth watching:
1. The food network
2. Game show Network

Second most commonly asked question: What are you going to do next?
My answer: Leave me alone. Okay, I don't really say that. But that's what comes to my mind. In my family (like most others, I'm sure) after college, you go find a career or go back for some more school. "What if I don't want that (right now)?" I ask... then my mom reminds me of my choice in colleges 4 years ago and also of my 50,000 dollars in loans that I have managed to accrue. Is that the right word? Ahhh, young grasshopper, yes, a career would help get rid of those loans or more education will stop you from paying those loans and increase the amount. Oh which do I choose? My favorite part was getting an article from my mom, "How to slash your debt from $50,000 to zero." Lalalallala. I can't hear you! Let's pretend I don't have loans. Now which do I choose? Moment of truth: Neither. Moment of Truth: Jesus. I have this brother, who some would call crazy, but I like to think of him as radical and awesome. My brother is getting married on Sunday, 4 days and a wake up away, and he works at the Olive Garden and his soon to be wife will teach piano and voice. They are moving to Visalia from San Diego. All worldly odds are against them. They want to have babies (not just 3 or 4). They have no money. They have no insurance. They have no education. What do they have? Faith. Not just any faith, but faith in a God that has provided every need for them. They weren't made for education. They are worshippers with faith that hasn't failed them. Daniel's heart is Revival. I believe him, let's watch his visions unfold before the world. He is so different- he is the follower of Jesus that I want to be like. More to come on my crazy brother... And about my loans, I'm going to worry more about my faith.

After Daniel's wedding I will head to Camarillo to live with my dad for a bit. I will travel to Santa Barbara often and graduate on May 6. Mark your calendars, May 6. In the mean time, I will take a Nutrition course online and TA for 061 at Westmont. I'll find some job and save my money spending some along the way on music. I'll probably finish the third season of the West Wing, start the fourth and realize that I am one of the people on my brother's heart for revival. One day at a time, huh?