Thursday, August 6, 2009

i should be overjoyed.

[when i have the magic touch.] being in the midst of a major depressive episode and, for SOME REASON only God knows, you chose to get fresh air with me.

[when i think about what i've got.] i have two parents who love me, siblings who think i'm great, friends who write me emails titled, "reasons why i love emily," a graduate degree, more than one pair of jeans, the luxury of grocery shopping at the end of the month, and a roof. i may live in a closet, BUT I HAVE A ROOF.

and i SHOULD be overjoyed because (today) i had the magic touch and i SHOULD be overjoyed because i (always) have a support network. but i'm not. my heart hurts when i come home. and my eyes are eternally heavy from working twelve hour days and my brain stings from attempting to treatment plan.

the way i see it, i've got two options. suck it up, get used to it and become jaded. OR continue the way i'm doing things and live in permanent sadness. obviously i'm being dramatic and obviously there's a balance between the two. it's just a matter of navigation.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

We love you Emily! (I'm with Deb). (We have face masks on). (We wish you were here.) (We were just commenting at how we're at the awkward age where we get zits and see wrinkles.) (we laughed a lot and then, missing you, looked at your blog.) (it's weird i'm writing like this, i know.) but, THIS BFF loves you! hasta manana suckaaas

Melissa said...

I love you girl. You will figure it out, you're emily katz :)

Cucku said...

We love you girl. You have such a pure heart and such compassion. The road will often be hard but yours is a masterpeice that is only just begun.