work.

dillon is back. we had dinner and some good conversation. i haven't been teary eyed in a while, but he asked me standard questions that don't always get asked; have you ever noticed that when you ask me a question, i change the subject? i don't want to talk about me. i don't want to let you in. i don't want you to know me. i will dance around the answer, but you never really know me. you think you do, but you probably don't. well, you might?

i've always known this, but i am just now facing it: i love to work. what's the big deal, emily? well, nothing yet. but in the future, this could be a very big deal. actually, i take it back. this could be a very big deal right now. i don't care how tired i am, or how much i have going on outside of my work life, i love to be at work. i love the feeling of getting things done and pleasing my supervisor. i love the feeling of being better than the person before me or having increases. i love being a perfectionist. i love being taught something new and then going on to discover more about it on my own. i love being recognized privately (never publicly, no thanks). i would rather work than play, most times. i don't stop until it's done right. i can't help it.

.this.is.a.problem.

this workaholic thing relates to a whole other issue that isn't ready to surface on the internet. but for now, i am going to bed so i can get up and go to work. surprised?