patty says. class six. the end.

three random thoughts before the goodness of patty:
1. it pays to know (or be!) a flight attendant: my friends james and lis arrived in JAPAN via FIRST CLASS. jealous.
2. happy two year anniversary adam and jenn!
3. yesterday i made the cutest mini sized chocolate cupcakes with mint buttercream frosting. and i invested in a hand mixer. more on the decision of what color hand mixer to purchase later.

alright, patty said some really good stuff for the final class:

first, the basic components of self-esteem:
significance: you are needed and essential
competence: you have something to offer
power: you are autonomous
virtue: you have the ability to give, acting out your values

second, feeling whole is often a product of these four things and a lot of times they can be out of balance:
1. generosity*, which is the ultimate coping mechanism for life's problems (think about that for a second...)
2. independence, which incorporates internal discipline influenced by community
3. mastery, in something, though without competition. more like personal achievement.
4. belonging, "living with loving people who return that love is the most strengthening emotional experience in the world.

*regarding generosity... she asked a great question: if giving is such an important part of feeling balanced and it builds self esteem, then why do we so often let the takers just take? and the givers just give? it is so empowering to give, even when you have very little to do so.

third, when your kids are picking their peer group and you maybe don't feel so comfortable about it... your biggest strategy is one of distraction. and then you can have those really fantastic conversations.

fourth, telling your kids about your past is never a good idea. honesty is important but the details should be completely fuzzy.

pop quiz: what is the single most motivating factor in the world? money comes in a close second.