if i were to create a house searching website for san francisco houses only, similar to craigslist but better, it would have the following functions:
1. you would know EXACTLY how many bathrooms there would be. none of this trying to guess business. and yes, that sink counts as a fourth and that toilet counts as another fourth. but, no, THAT TUB WITHOUT A SHOWER DOES NOT COUNT AS A WHOLE BATHROOM.
2. there would be a box to check for laundry, parking, closets, etc. quit telling me laundry is close by. lugging your laundry three blocks on your shoulder IS NOT CLOSE.
3. you could only count it as a bedroom if it has a closet AND a window. if it doesn't have both or you are trying to turn a living room into a bedroom, then IT IS NOT A BEDROOM. stop trying to make yourself believe that.
4. a map would be required in the listing. and stop trying to call it the inner sunset or noe valley. you're lying! that's glen park and the sunset. and i DON'T want to live there.
5. there would be a function to rate it on nice-ness. and people would be able to agree or disagree with you, forcing you to be honest. i can see categories like: a. recessed lighting and bosch dishwasher. enough said. b. not fancy but good enough c. college students just moved out, clearly d. we used to dissect cats in this place. that's what you're smelling e. this is where the devil himself resides.
6. and there would be some sort of lingo dictionary. for example, when someone writes "views of city" you would know that it meant there's a window. or if they wrote "close to shops and restaurants" the translation would be "at least a twenty minute walk." "whimsical victorian" = a dear God awful paint job. anytime there is a square footage number you would know to automatically take away two hundred feet. etc. etc.
7. there would also be a section for who lives in the other units. are you below or above the owner? college students? a brand new baby? all things that you want to know. if i had asked these things earlier, i would have been to twenty-five less houses. FOR SURE. i DO NOT want to live next to the owner. sorry. living my life on my tippy toes does NOT sound appealing.
i just vented to dan. like vomited in his ear. gross, huh.
why did i not think of all these details before i made this life altering decision? why do i do everything based on my feelings? i don't even have it in me to cry right now because i know it will work out. it always does.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
emily's dream housing website.
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3 comments:
you make decisions that way because if you based them more on anything else, it wouldn't seem natural to you. it would be like primarily using your left-hand on moving day(assuming you're right-handed)... you'd feel unsure and unsteady all the way through.
own that F. it's done you right so far. and you're right... things always do work out.
If this website existed people would still lie, cuz no one wants to admit they live in a one bedroom loft with only a microwave and a screaming baby living underneath. Who's gonna accidentally rent that place?
first, that was a very entertaining dissertation on apartment hunting; i got it and it made me laugh. although i know it is not funny and that has been so frustrating for you.
that is the nice thing about life; it is an ADVENTURE, and that means it is not a packaged deal. the more space there is the more exciting it is. so yes, g-d has the perfect place for you, he is just leading you around to the right place; and he also has to kick the folks out that are in your place.
so, like love it does find you. it is just the trekking part that gets tiring.
hang in there princess, you are on the right path.
me
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