goodbye, 2008.

my year in review: juno. obama won the iowa caucus. started my final semester at urban. i was rejected from being a poll worker. adventures with ziggy. a thirty day caffeine hiatus. chris and michele came to visit. i talked a lot about politics. a lot. i met julie in tahoe. i voted on february fifth. lesley and lori came to visit. i bought a scooter. i changed insurance carriers. i joined the monday night group. i felt the most misunderstood i've ever felt. ever. i went to a lakers game. and to a poetry slam. had easter in yosemite. hoola hoop party at dolores park. dan turned twentyfive and we surprised him. i got hired to be a therapist for late age adults. i went to the final three c reunion and spring sing. symphony. the swell season concert. i said goodbye to my fourth semester of urbanites. tipping point benefit. westmont graduation. ben taylor concert. i made my first pies. burned my hands making pies. i visited lori in santa cruz. my step-dad became a loser and the worst role model. riley turned one. started training for a half marathon with julie. i went to alcoholics anonymous and sex addicts anonymous, but not because i'm an addict. i jumped out of a plane. i voted, again. i killed a pigeon. swedish midsummer party. sb for jonny's wedding. patty's class. samuel turned one. i experienced major anxiety over a hand mixer. shonna came to visit. i made baracklava. i talked a lot more about politics. spontaneous road trip to monterey. i decided to end at urban. julie turned twentyfour. i became a professional house hunter. i saw coldplay with anna. the ladies came to town for a conference. we signed a lease. saw john mayer. i ran a half marathon with julie. michael phelps kicked ass. i had an ankle injury. i met my cute physical therapist. i switched scooters. i baked. and i baked. and i baked. i bought some more kitchen products and pyrex. i had my first client; i became a therapist. i saw patty griffin with lori. i started lending on kiva. i helped with keith and leslie's wedding. i went to the sugar shack again. i ran into a turnstile. i turned twentyfour. i learned a lot more about politics. dan. relay triathlon with julie and dan. I SAW SAM BEAM LIVE. i learned more about taking risks. another caffeine kick. shonna's housewarming party. my own therapy. getting accepted to go to israel for free. more politics. i blogged three times in one day: election day, november fourth. i did yoga. i told you some of my secrets (chuck e, trombone, etc.). i started saving pennies. some of westmont burned down. my friends lost their homes. i celebrated thanksgiving early. mint. milk. slumdog. losing my first client. playing in seattle. the second annual gingerbread house making party. supporting my three closest friends in their pain. figuring out how to receive the most generous gift, ever. and then experiencing that feeling all over again eight days later: you really are crazy.

and in this year i am changing and becoming. i pray that i continue to become and continue to grow and mold and fight and cry and get angry and have joy and laugh and listen and learn and be still. and most of all, i pray that i can continue to give. it might just be the one thing that i believe the most in.

the difference.

between my mom's bike and my bike is that she has one and i don't. she has a trek madone to be exact and i'm borrowing it. call me crazy, i know. i don't even know how to ride a road bike. but my good roommate took off the fancy pedals where you clip in so i can wear my running shoes. wish me luck. i'm pretty sure that if i scratch it, i'll be getting a mastectomy.

UPDATE: when getting on the bike, i asked dan where the kickstand was. he started laughing. not with me. at me. overall, it was so smooth and so fun. but i am pretty wobbly and it's hard to get used to the brakes being right there. maybe one day i'll have a bike of my own.

in fourteen days.

i will depart for a country that is firing missiles. fantastic.

am i scared? not yet.
will i be? of course.

forced family fun.

with a six and eleven year old, of course.

marley and me. despereaux. enough said.

early christmas in socal.

three brothers, three sisters-in-law, two babies, one papa and a step mom equals never celebrating christmas on christmas day. and so we gathered early. my role definitely has changed since becoming a therapist: i have moved from the youngest and unmarried and instigator to the peacemaker and mediator. or at least, that's what i perceived this weekend. of course the focus of our time together was on riley and samuel (naps, eating, not eating, screaming, crying, attempting to take photos, etc.). so different and so wonderful.

this is what happens when i try to hold TWO squirmy wormy toddlers:






cousins (riley nineteen months, samuel eighteen months):

samuel loves the headphones:
the mens:

i'm on vacay.

hanging out with family in socal. and resting. and failing at the attempt to sleep in. and holding eighteen month old baby boys who couldn't be more opposite. and eating. and running. and playing hearts. and laughing. and watching elf. and and and and and and and . .   .      .

and in the midst of all of the above, my mind is consumed with processing the idea of receiving a gift with grace and honor, while committing to giving back. to pay it forward, really. my mind is spinning. my heart is overwhelmed. and the tears keep falling. there is no way to measure this gift. i hate using the word blessing, but in this case, it is COMPLETELY appropriate. 

to receive or not, that really is the question. and the answer to that leads to so many more questions.

God: help?

full disclosure: i couldn't reach seventh position.

if you're musically inclined, you probably know what seventh position belongs to: the TROMBONE. yep, my second musical experience was with the trombone. AND I COULDN'T EVEN REACH ALL OF THE NOTES. how does one play an instrument if they can't reach all the notes? good question. i pretty much sucked and was there because in sixth grade all the ladies were playing the flute (come on, you know you were a flute girl). NO GIRLS were playing the TROMBONE. so i stepped up to the challenge. i think i might have even had a sixth grade boyfriend because of it.

...and after that year i said NEVER AGAIN (my lips were stuck in the puckering position and i wanted them back to normal. plus, the instrument and case weighed more than i did.)

what the hell. it was a learning experience.

what's your cure?

this one is for the ladies.

what's your cure for cramps? i don't actually have them that often but i'm so annoyed when they make their way into my day. little bastards.

i'm asking because my hilarious friend julie said: eight motrin by two pm and a coffee toffee haagan daas ice cream bar do the trick. is that what you do?

awesome.

second annual gingerbread house making party.

the first annual gingerbread house making party was fun. but the second was OFF THE HOOK. cool to have SO many rad people at the party with great sweaters (and onesies!) and great creativity. six teams battled it out creating different san francisco neighborhoods (tenderloin, marina, chinatown, the mish, castro and haight), but in the end the castro prevailed. 

some photos...

lis, meg, leslie:
all eyes on dan:
out of control (casey, zack):

even more out of control (bo, brad, sean):

dan & dillon explain the rules:

deb, adam, nathan, chris:

team chinatown (casey, sean, cg, erin, isaac, trent):
team castro (larry, keith, brad, wimberly, ji hae):

team haight (andrew, laura, julie, dillon, leslie, deb):

team mish (meg, bo, nick, me, lis, dan... and i was sober in this photo so i'm not sure why i look stoned):
team tenderloin (james, zack, nathan, sarah, sarah):

team marina (julie, drew, krista, micah, kevin):

the mish:

the marina:

chinatown:

the castro:

the tenderloin:

the haight:

see more photos here.

a generous christmas gift.

how cool is this idea?!

if you received this gift (to pay it forward, really) who would you give it to? let's say you have a thousand bucks.

done. done. done.

no more papers, no more tests, no more assigned reading. 

done until january twentysixth. 

i will fill my time with-

reading: generation me*, growing up fundamentalist**, smart women finish [rich]***

researching: internship sites to start in august, the gre, phd programs

catching up on: emails, sleep, phone calls

creating: cards, beanies, desserts

traveling to: my pop's house, the east bay and israel

and to celebrate: rosie thomas will sing to me, in thirty two minutes. dbj.

*all about me and my friends who are in their twenties.

**because if the churches i grew up in weren't fundamental, they were pretty damn close.

***i mostly just want to finish well.

ssssssssseattle.

seattle was SO great.

recap:

downtown extravaganza

nordstrom mecca

two am phone messages for the besties

pink pad thai. 

see's candy experience 

meeting alex and friends

free drinks via hannah

new friends from the bathroom

damage control patrol

unsuccessfully trying to end the oh eight streak

multiple hours at the rack. size seven or eight?

the boot search

sarah wanting to obnoxiously hear boots with the fur

everyone and their mom spilling on me

broken glass on the dance floor

hannah's spit, everywhere

kristy's pajamas, specifically on saturday night

sweet finds at the junk store

and not bad weather: i expected worse.

sarah&ek:

kp&ek, thx lo:
excuse the blurrrrrr:

i love fundamentalists.

look what i found:

well that's a sexy airplane.

me: have you ever flown virgin america?
kp: yes- seriously amazing. it's so sexy!
me: i know, it IS so sexy! i got a free mojito from the cute flight attendant and there were blue and purple lights! sarah, have you ever been?
sarah: wait. i don't get it. it's sexy? can children ride on it?

[she hasn't experienced it yet, apparently]

leaving on a (virgin america!) jet plane.

seattle, baby, here i come.

I CAN'T WAIT TO PLAY WITH KRISTY & SARAH!!!

i'm losing her.

i hate medicare. i hate it i hate it i hate it.

some recent changes have made it so that my department cannot be billed for the work of practicum students (like me). when ninety percent of our budget is based on that money and medicare decides to get LAME, it means i'm out of a client.

so tomorrow i'll prepare for our departure. it's been a short three months and i've learned so much.

i'll never forget my first client.

reminded of romeo.

not romeo like romeo and juliet. romeo pronouced rome-(h)AY-oh. he was my photography professor from when i studied in florence. he was the one that convinced me to buy a tripod.

the city was perfectly clear on saturday night. i ventured north of the bridge to get these shots:
taking photos calms me down. and excites me, all at once. it's the perfect balance.

(all taken with my canon digital slr, nothing too special)

full disclosure: best day.

i can't name the best day of my life. 

maybe it hasn't happened yet? 

maybe i'll never have a "best" day.

maybe. maybe not.

fourhundred and fifty billion. SHUT UP.

my friend meg showed our community group this great promo for advent conspiracy. check it:



yes, there are some holes in the idea. but, really... what if?

let's save some money. part four.

my hair is a very sensitive topic. you see, i was once bribed to dye it. i took the bribe and i've been aiming for natural ever since. but a haircut, now that's a different story. i'm generally one who pays top dollar for a haircut. your hair says a lot about you, right? i think so.

anyway, on saturday night i found some super sharp scissors and decided to give myself a trim. only a little, while leaning over into the toilet (to make less of a mess, duh). and hot damn! i just saved sixty bucks. BOOOYAH!

come on, who's with me?