i see it like this... when there's a loss we don't understand we try to make sense of it. so we pray for things like strength. in the last week i have realized that praying for strength might just be the exact opposite someone who is grieving needs. in the work with my clients who are experiencing extreme loss and now with my friend's family, my sense is that they need the space to feel exactly what they're feeling: deep sadness, anger, frustration, loss. they don't need strength. they need you and me to be strong and to walk with them. they need us to say "you must be tired. let me help you." they need us to have empathy not just today, but in two months and in two years.
out of sequence death is the worst type of grief. this is awful.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
anti-strength.
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2 comments:
thanks for sharing, e. this past weekend was the 2 year anniversary of my good friend's dad's death from pancreatic cancer. I had a really hard time balancing that fine line of wanting to console her and pray that she feel better but also feeling the need to let live in that grief and experience it for what it was.
AMEN.
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