how would you rate your ability to have fun...

"...poor, fair, good or excellent?"

pause.

"what do you mean 'fun'? because i like beer and sex. can you provide me with either of those?"

and then my face got really really hot.

"nope. definitely not." exhale. "awkward."

pause again. [he's demented; it was at least a fifteen second pause]

"well then i guess i would say poor. definitely poor."

"alright. i think we'll pick up here next time."

must i remind you that my clients, including this one, ARE OVER SEVENTY YEARS OLD. awesome.