things not to do on a first date. with me.

bring a condom, or two. true confession: i might have put my hands in his back pockets when we might have been kissing. and i found them. i already have no filter, but it gets magnified when i have a glass of cider.

me: is this a condom?
him: uh, yah.
me: who do you think i am? or. what did you think we were going to do?
him: i don't know. you always have to be prepared, right?
me: um. no. i think this date just ended.

whelp. that was easy. i understand the importance of being safe. but seriously. what was i thinking when i said yes to you? ugh, my life: sexless in the city.